Well well well, it has been awhile

Hello.

Somehow it is now May.

I say somehow because I'm not entirely sure how we got through 1/3 of the year already. In fact, last time I checked it was about February. Still. But nevertheless, here we are and it has been a long long time since an update.

What has happened since then, you may ask...

Well:

• I completed profs. This means I finished 13 weeks of practical "how to be a lawyer" training. I had very few weekends without assignments, and very few weeks with breathing room. But I got there, and made it through the other side. Though I'm not entirely sure what the otherside looks like yet.
• My kittens have grown. They now look like cats. Funny wee thing that, the fact that kittens become cats, but y'know, I'm not ready for them to be all big and grown up. Where did all the time go?!
• I have gone to three weddings. Three. They were all gorgeous in their own way and they all reminded me of how important family, friends and your other half is. 
• Speaking of other halves, he broke his finger. Big time. Like through the knuckle joint so it collapsed and twisted and generally looked like someone forgot to attach a bone to his finger. Wasn't the best of times. But it's healing so fast it's like he has a superpower.
• I have signed up for a marathon. I'm running to raise money for the Cancer Society. I am also currently coming out of an injury with a foot that cannot run, so it's an interesting tension.
• I got a job. So I now take a ferry twice a day. And work in an office. And generally wonder what it is that I'm doing with my life. And so,
• I dream. We are planning a trip to South East Asia budget allowing which is INCREDIBLY exciting and slightly nerve-wracking at the same time.
• There have been birthdays and celebrations and get togethers and catch ups that make you realise that you have a lot of cool people around you. And makes you miss the ones that aren't there. 

So, there's not really any excuse for an update, except.. I wasn't sure what to write. I didn't really have anything profound to say. Or interesting for that matter. It made me worried. It was like I was just cruising along with life, enjoying it, rising to the little challenges but in general, it was like nothing major was happening. Now for me, that's a bit odd. Normally life just operates at this high speed, chaotic spin of medical dramas and issues that make some tv shows look slow. But recently, it's just been so.... mild.

See to begin with, I had a problem with that. It wasn't that I WANTED the drama, but it was more I felt a little lost without it. Confused about why life felt so.. chilled. Flat, almost. It was and is still very very busy, but there wasn't multiple major things to handle all at the same time, so it's more of a manageable full then insanely busy. And then I realised, um, actually, that's a really good thing. Most of life actually doesn't operate in the profound or in the chaotic. It's in the moments when you're looking out of a ferry window wondering what you want to see in this life and do in this life that is the moments worth having. It's those moments on a lazy sunday when you're actually valuing the importance of a day of rest and you end up sitting in the sun playing board games or chatting about life or watching kittens wrestle while you have a cup of tea or just chilling listening to birds or the hum of "Put Your Records On" in the background that is what life is really all about. It's amazing really.

There are times to work hard and there's times to relax. But even during the week taking the moment to unplug my music and listen to the waves hit the beach can make such a difference. I'd rather take a moment to stop and feel the gentle quiet then push forward in chaos and come out the otherside with another battle scar.

Maybe I'm changing, maybe I'm growing up, maybe I truly am "coming through the otherside" of a bunch of chaos, but one thing I do know is this life, even in its mundane, is truly and amazingly beautiful and perfect.

What you already have

I believe in seasons.

I believe in Ecclesiastes 3: that

"There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,

    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³     a time to kill and a time to heal,

    a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,

    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

 
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,

    a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,

    a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,

    a time for war and a time for peace."

And I truly believe that each of us navigate those seasons. Multiple times over. 
And that we should meet each other in our seasons. Support each other through them.
Be grateful for the support we receive in each of them. Whether it's someone to laugh with, cry with, dance with, sit in silence with, grow with, chill with -- those people are so important to remember, to cherish and to be thankful for. 

Take the time to read back over that verse again. Read every season, every line. That's what life looks like in entirety. Underneath it lies the love, the gratitude and blessing that this life actually is.

I also believe that everything is beautiful in its time (Ecc 3:9).

But today I have a challenge. What if your time is now?

What if you are here for a reason?

What if you have an important part to play?

Regardless of what season we are in, we have an obligation not to waste it.

Now don't get me wrong, if you're in a season of rest, REST. If you're in a season of mourning, then give yourself time and space to mourn. But what I'm getting at is how we operate our seasons.

In the words of a friend of mine "in the endless pursuit of more, do not overlook or belittle what you've already been given". Further, in the frantic pursuit of the next or a desperation to find a grounding in the now, always remember what you already have.

If you're reading this then you are already living the dream of millions.

You are on the internet.

You are literate. 

If you have a healthy body, a healthy mind (even if there's days we feel otherwise) then you are blessed beyond measure already.

A grateful heart breeds joy. And an appreciation for where we are at whatever that season is, is a key component to beginning to find your purpose and discover your role in this world.

What are you thankful for today?

Over and out,

Cooper x

P.s. if you want a quick link to the blog/other cool links you can find Gumboots and Puddles on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gumbootsandpuddles

Those a-ha moments (or those chances to be grateful)

Picture this.

It's a sunny day. The sun is streaming through the lounge. Your kittens are playing on the ground, tumbling over each other like WWF wrestlers having the time of their life. Your partner is on the couch getting excited over kite-surfing gear and the potential. You are sitting there absorbing the sun. Cinnamon buns are in the oven and the house smells deliciously edible. It's a pretty neat morning.

The other day, this was exactly what was happening in my house. I was, however, preoccupied. I think I was working, or thinking of work, or something similar. And then, the most interesting thing happened.

A song played.

Haha!

But in all seriousness, a song did play, and it changed how I witnessed that morning profoundly. Earlier that day, I had stumbled across my old, broken IPod. Surprisingly, when it was turned on, it worked again (it had previously died by water bath). Shocked, I thought it would be fun to play what was on the Ipod. 6 years on, I thought it would be interesting to see what was even on it. So, I put it on.

Now as I was sitting there, preoccupied, a song came on that I heard for the first time in 7th form. I remember the song so profoundly because I heard on soccer tournament when I was very injured, tired, sore and I had a lot of crap going on in my life at that time. It touched me this song, and became something I played for the rest of the next year as one thing after another kept occurring. From hospital visits to emotional dark places, this song was something I played constantly. To remind me of the fact that living life doesn't mean settling for no sunshine. (The song for those of you who are interested is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4RCQYCqkf4).

This song came on that morning. And I was instantly transported back to the times where I listened to it - often feeling broken, afraid, hurt, torn, hopeless.

And when I listened to it, I looked around the room for the first time that morning, truly absorbing it. I realised that back in those times when I listened to that song, I never thought my life would look anything like this. I didn't realise that there was this amazing otherside waiting for me. And I realised and appreciated how incredibly blessed I am. And how grateful I am that the image of the life I had seen for myself is not what came to be. I wonder what life would look like if we took the time to dream life into those hopeless spaces. Gain a perspective that really can pull us through those dark times to remember our "a-ha" moments. Those moments when you look at your life and everything in it, and just think wow.

I mean, there's things my life is lacking (job security for one!!) but the fact of the matter is, my life is awesome. And bathed and bathed and bathed in sunshine. Some of you have asked for a look at the kittens, so I've put a snapshot of some of my cool moments lately. The kittens are Snow (for snow leopard) and Tigger. I'll let you guess which is which ;)

I guess the thing to remember is that the grass is only greener on the side that gets watered. Watered with gratitude. And love. And inspiration.

Are you watering yours?

Over and out,

Cooper x

Keeping your heart full

Hello.

And a Happy New Year!

I've been a little off the radar recently. I moved cities. I visited family and friends. I went to the beach. I got a (minimal) tan. I played a lot of pool volleyball. I got two kittens. I put my roots down and began to grow. I started a growing herb garden and a lemon tree, some lavenders and succulents. I learned how to make vegan brownies. I started my professionals course. I did assignments. I slept. I saw stars. I watched movies. And it. was. AWESOME. Busy, at times. But awesome.

But, to be honest,  in the midst of it, I still haven't quite got into routine. Into being settled. And, in true respect to my last post, that worried me. Because, I guess part of me just expected it to happen instantaneously.

Something like... I unpack, therefore it's home. I plant, therefore it grows. I show the kitties the litterbox, therefore my handbag is not a toliet. I slept, therefore I'm rested. I'm thankful, therefore I'm full.

Well, needless to say, life doesn't quite work like that. Life doesn't work in equations or instant moments. It's a path of progression. And recently, my path of progression has got me thinking.

What makes my heart full?

Before I answer that, I want to explain what I mean.

By definition, full means "containing or holding as much or as many as possible; having no empty space" or "not lacking or omitting anything; complete". As a noun, it can also mean "the period, point, or state of the greatest fullness or strength." What I mean by full heart is something in between. It is that place of strength where your heart is bursting, it is brimming with hope, love and laughter. It is thankful and joyous, and so full of life and its wonders that it almost bursts. It's contentment in a moment and expectation for the next. It's that feeling as though your heart is so overwhelmed with the beauty of everything life has to offer that you could not possibly feel anymore. It is a state of being I wish everyone would experience more of. And when I was so busy being caught up in forcing myself to relax or convince myself that I was settled and it was all sorted, I missed that. And that's why I started thinking, what am I missing?

It wasn't time. I had given myself some more of that. I mean, granted I was still busy, had things to do and deadlines to make. But I was consciously taking time out to feel grateful for Christmas, for New Year, for the support and love around me.

It wasn't rest. I mean, I think my body could probably always use more rest then I give it, but I was sleeping well, I gave myself some time off. I didn't push it and go for runs or exercise when my body didn't want to.

It wasn't love. I am surrounded by love. And supported so very well by so many amazing people who cherish and cheer for me everyday.

It wasn't things. I have everything I need and more. And, things aren't things we miss anyway.

It wasn't direction. Granted, I haven't quite sorted "the next step". But I've done that deliberately. And I have at least a years worth of study/loose ends to tie up/things to do career-wise and life wise.

So what was it?

Well. To be perfectly honest. It surprised me too.

It was listening.

I wasn't making an effort to listen to what was being shown to me. I wasn't actively looking at anything I was seeing. I was loving life, yes. But I wasn't giving myself room to truly connect with it.

Today I had an epiphany of sorts. I was waiting for the ferry and I was watching the boats come in and out. There was a child laughing with their grandfather and dancing with excitement at the day to come and the trip he was embarking on. There was this lady, so caught up in her frown that she looked as though the world was killing her. The extreme difference between the two reminded me of the importance of having child-like faith in this world. My Mum reminded me this morning that there is wonder in the really basic stuff. I thought at the time that she was so right, that I saw it. But I realised later that actually sometimes I don't. Sometimes I am far too absorbed in myself to realise that sometimes it is the blessing of witnessing moments of wonder - whether its by a child, by a beautiful landscape, by a song, by whatever you can think of - that witnessing is the blessings that can make your heart so full.

All along, there are moments in your day waiting to tell you something. We have take the time to listen to them. Sometimes it's listening for things outside of yourself that really show you what's inside of yourself that's missing. Mine was connection with the world as a whole. How amazing the whole place is outside of your safe zone and the people you already know and love. Those places are to be treasured, cherished and respected. But they do not exist to isolate you from the rest of the world. We are called to live in it. All of it. To be that transforming lenscap, if you like. To change the way that people see the moments they miss.

I'm grateful to my Mum today, for telling me something I needed to know. I'm grateful to the world and to God for showing me some of that basic and intense wonder. And I'm grateful to my heart, for being so very full.

There's a poem I want to share with you. It's one that I think encapsulates more of what I want to do. It's one that inspires me. (Though, I would change the last sentence to then you'll be human, my child - but that's what it means anyway, and that's just me being pedantic).

It's called 'If' and it's by Rudyard Kipling, but don't let that stop you.

And today, and everyday, keep listening. And please, let your heart be full.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

---

Over and out,

Cooper x

When the time comes

Here's a (not so) secret for you...

I worry.

I worry. Alot.

Now when I say I worry, I mean, I literally had a freakout about all the things I had to do before moving next Friday. In the middle of night. To the point I had to get up and write a to-do list so I know it was all going to be sorted and I knew the plan.

So, in other words, I'm a control freak.

I LIKE knowing what the plan is. I LIKE having a plan. I LOVE being in control of that plan. And I STRUGGLE when things don't go to plan.

It's true.

Moving cities after 5 years, well, that doesn't always go to plan. There are things I forgot, things I've overlooked, things I'd rather do, an assignment I need to write, things. Things that take time.

Tonight I realised however, that sometimes I've been doing things the wrong way around.

Matthew 6:34 (MSG) says "God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes". When the time comes.

What a beautiful four word sentence.

I don't know what I'll do if... my migraines come back. I will. When the time comes.

I don't know what I'll do if... my dreams don't work out. I will. When the time comes.

I don't know what I'll do if... if... if. If what I'm worrying about comes to fruition I will deal with it. When the time comes.

But how often do we actually do that?

I know I can be TERRIBLE at it. Waiting to deal with things when the time comes? NO THANK YOU! I want to know every potential option of every potential circumstance and every potential outcome so that I'm prepared for how I could deal with EVERYTHING. yes, I said EVERYTHING.

When it's written down it sounds kind of ridiculous doesn't it?

But it's true.

I mean, to be fair, it's partially my job. Law school teaches you to look at every avenue and side and option and work within the framework. It's analytical, in some situations necessary, and in some ways, can be very helpful. But in others, it's fully and utterly disruptive. Draining. Unnecessary. I mean, really in most situations there is no way I would have thought of everything. And it would be arrogant if I thought I could. I haven't experienced everything yet. There will be somethings I just will be totally unaware of.

And yet, I still do it.

Max Lucado once wrote - "meet today's problems with today's strength". That really hit home for me tonight, when I was sitting in my room not wanting to pack, feeling tired and feeling a little overwhelmed by it all. I literally thought, well, I don't know what I'll do if I can't get it all packed tomorrow.... Well, I will. If or when the time comes.

Today's problem with today's strength is I'm tired, I've said some goodbyes and I rather get into bed with a cup of tea, a good book and cuddle my teddy bear. It's true. I'm not good with goodbyes or see you soons.

But me worrying and getting anxious over what is yet to pass... it's a waste of energy.

Don't get me wrong, it's GOOD to have a plan. It's GOOD to consider things. It's GOOD to think about things, to discuss them with people, to suss out your options. But that is a FAR cry from indulging the pit of panic in your stomach or thinking what if. 'What' and 'if' are innocent enough words, but put together they can be a recipe for disaster (or a chance to dream).

Tomorrow's problems will come tomorrow and today's are enough for today. It's a simple truth, and it's definitely one I'm still trying to learn. But for now... I'll deal with it when the time comes  ;P Besides,

And with that, it's time to dream.

Over and out,

Cooper.

P.s. if you want to stay updated with new posts: 

https://www.facebook.com/gumbootsandpuddles

Loving the season you are in.

It’s true. I LOVE this season. With a HUGE, MUSHY, EMBARRASING CAPITAL ‘L’. Summer. Christmas. Family. Home. Beaches. Seafood. Warm days. Long nights. Dancing in the moonlight. It is my most FAVOURITE TIME OF YEAR. By a long long shot. 

But -- This year is a bit different. Instead of being settled, I’m in transition. Instead of celebrating, I’m a bit nervous. And a bit scared. After five years, I’m moving back to Auckland. And there’s something about moving, about goodbyes and see you soons, about the idea that I’m moving through a different season of my life that, at times, feels a little unsettling.

Don’t get me wrong I’m EXCITED. I’ve worked so hard through university, my family is in Auckland, my main man is in Auckland (YUS for datenights that don’t involve skype haha), I’m getting a kitten (hello King George the Russian Blue), and I am starting to shift out of a paper-plate student mentality into a “omgosh I might actually be able to host things and buy flowers every now and then and take on the challenge of a macaroon tower, and actually invest in this whole becoming an adult thing”. It’s a wicked cool season to be in. But it got me thinking, aside from the Christmas season and the summer season, what season am I in?

I’m in transition. Sometimes I find that frustrating. I just want to be done with the transition and settled. On my path. Game plan initiated. Levelled up. You know the drill. I think we all sometimes flick in to the speed track game of life mentality where getting old is not to be celebrated, but the next major milestone is. I’m not going to lie to you, I google houses for sale. I pin articles about weddings (cough) and cute little family traditions on pinterest. I look at places I want to travel. And plants I want to grow. And while I think it is SO SO important to dream, I’m starting to also recognise the importance of loving where you are at. Even if it is in a chaotic uncertainty of long days meeting deadlines, nights packing, and feeling like you’re dog paddling in a bit of deep deep lake.

I guess I wanted to share this because I was thinking back to before I started uni (as you do when you’re finishing) and I remember how terrified I was. How exciting it was but how much it resembled standing on the high dive platform at the swimming pool and jumping out and hoping you made the decision to jump alright. For me, I was the only one of my friends to come to Wellington, and one of TWO from my year at school to come to Vic. Out of 450 people in my year, only one came here. And we were less than friends. To be honest. But as I think back over the last five years, I can honestly say I’m glad I came. I’ve had some major highs, and some terrible lows, but I honestly have no regrets. Why? Because every one of those moments has shaped me into who I am today. A little bit crazy, a lotta bit sentimental, and about to embark on an exciting move back to my hometown. 

I think as you leave part of your journey and embark on the next destination, it’s important to make peace with where you’ve come from, take a moment to embrace all who you are, and reflect on the season you are in. Even the quiet seasons, the transition seasons, the uncertain seasons and the can’t wait to just get on and do it seasons shape us in to who we are. Take a leaf from the book of the man upstairs and remember he’s doing life with you. I know sometimes I just need to stop, rest and remember that. The moment that is important is truly the one that’s right now. Whatever that looks like, no matter how scary or sad or bittersweet or incredibly magnificent and beautiful – it’s a moment to be thankful for. And my goodness I’m thankful. What a JOURNEY. What a MOMENT. What a SEASON. To finish, let me introduce (or reacquaint) you with one of my favourite songs EVER (which is saying something). It’s a Scots poem, for old times sake, and one of the most beautiful reflective pieces that really encapsulate everything for me. Take some time to listen and enjoy. I’m not gonna lie, it often makes me cry. It’s about beginnings and ends, celebration and going forward. It’s life. In all its painful and amazing moments. Enjoy. And remember:

Over and out, Cooper x

Celebrating 23 years of...... MOI

Ok so here's a wee secret for you...

TODAY is my 23rd BIRTHDAY! 23, as in the lowest prime number of consecutive numbers. 23, as in the number of discs in the human spine. 23, as in the amount of seconds it takes for blood to circulate around the body. 23, as in the number of times Julius Caesar was stabbed. 23, as in... oh my gosh I'm now most definitely a "20-something".

I dunno about you, but sometimes I find birthdays tough to celebrate. There's a few reasons for that. One, getting old is getting less and less exciting. Being an adult can be a bit tough sometimes. Two, my family had a bit of a breakdown around my 21st, and that remains a little painful. Three, I struggle having a day about me - I'd rather celebrate everyone and everything else!!

Now, in lieu of an identity crisis - think like this ---

--- I thought I'd take some time to really think about ME. The reason? I think we're in danger of identity theft. I think we sometimes forget to celebrate how unique and amazing and different we all are. We forget to own our true identity, and in whose image we were truly created. And sometimes, the best thing is to plant your feet firmly on the ground and celebrate you. So, in honour of my birthday, here are 23 things about me you might not have known.

1. Alexandra means defender of men. I think that's pretty cool.

2. I only like black jellybeans.

3. On the 21st of November 23 years ago, I couldn't decide if I wanted to be born so got stuck. Then I was born yellow and hairy from being early but with a pointed head from getting pulled out. I looked like a monkey. So far, I've lived up to the name.

4. My favourite place in the world is the Peter Pan statute in Hyde Park in London. It makes me remember to keep dreaming big.

5. I despise being cold. But I ALWAYS have cold hands.

6. It took me approximately 22 years to stop hating my feet. I now love jandals.

7. I LOVE water. Diving, windsurfing, swimming, sailing. The ocean is my home. Secretly, I'm trying to be a mermaid.

8. My eyes change colour. They stay with a base of blue but range in to green and grey also.

9. My favourite flowers is a mixed bouquet of sunflowers and red roses - romantic and happy.

10. I once played Nick Bottom in a Midsummers Night Dream. I had to sing while wearing a donkey's head. It was terrifying. For everyone.

11. I'm from Aucklnd. Don't hate it until you've sat on a beach and looked at Rangitoto. There's no place like it.

13. I love Christmas.  I make a gingerbread house every year. I think Christmas carols should be compulsory from my birthday onwards.

14. For me, a cup of tea (and a chocolate coated gingernut) can cure anything. Salt water is also a good cure - sweat, tears and the ocean. But tea is calmer.

15. I love board games. Games night is one of the coolest nights ever.

16. I've performed in the Sydney Opera House. And I still occasionally wish I had never given up music.

17. My favourite animal is a cotton top tamarin. And a dolphin. Who doesn't like dolphins. They can recognise themselves in a mirror. COOL!

18. I come with my own background music. Silence is overrated, and I have a playlist for EVERYTHING.

19. I believe with all my heart that a true love story never ends. But that love-in-action is something we should all commit to each and every day.

20. I often yell stay at non-living objects as though they will listen to me.

21. I'm an intellectual badass. Which is code for NERD ALERT. But I love learning, and I love my degree.

22. The first thing I do when I get home is make myself look as publicly unacceptable as possible. Manpants and animal socks, hollah!

23. My mission in life is to be a game-changer. To leave the world better than I found it and bless every opportunity I get. We get one chance to be God's advocates. And I want to make the world smile and realise how absolutely incredible each and every person is. That's my goal.

BOOMTOWN. That's me.  A little bit crazy, a lotta bit sentimental, and a teaspoon of random. Do you know who you are? Do you celebrate it? We're all fearfully and wonderfully made. If only we started realising it.

Over and out,

Cooper.