But -- This year is a bit different. Instead of being settled, I’m in transition. Instead of celebrating, I’m a bit nervous. And a bit scared. After five years, I’m moving back to Auckland. And there’s something about moving, about goodbyes and see you soons, about the idea that I’m moving through a different season of my life that, at times, feels a little unsettling.
Don’t get me wrong I’m EXCITED. I’ve worked so hard through university, my family is in Auckland, my main man is in Auckland (YUS for datenights that don’t involve skype haha), I’m getting a kitten (hello King George the Russian Blue), and I am starting to shift out of a paper-plate student mentality into a “omgosh I might actually be able to host things and buy flowers every now and then and take on the challenge of a macaroon tower, and actually invest in this whole becoming an adult thing”. It’s a wicked cool season to be in. But it got me thinking, aside from the Christmas season and the summer season, what season am I in?
I’m in transition. Sometimes I find that frustrating. I just want to be done with the transition and settled. On my path. Game plan initiated. Levelled up. You know the drill. I think we all sometimes flick in to the speed track game of life mentality where getting old is not to be celebrated, but the next major milestone is. I’m not going to lie to you, I google houses for sale. I pin articles about weddings (cough) and cute little family traditions on pinterest. I look at places I want to travel. And plants I want to grow. And while I think it is SO SO important to dream, I’m starting to also recognise the importance of loving where you are at. Even if it is in a chaotic uncertainty of long days meeting deadlines, nights packing, and feeling like you’re dog paddling in a bit of deep deep lake.
I guess I wanted to share this because I was thinking back to before I started uni (as you do when you’re finishing) and I remember how terrified I was. How exciting it was but how much it resembled standing on the high dive platform at the swimming pool and jumping out and hoping you made the decision to jump alright. For me, I was the only one of my friends to come to Wellington, and one of TWO from my year at school to come to Vic. Out of 450 people in my year, only one came here. And we were less than friends. To be honest. But as I think back over the last five years, I can honestly say I’m glad I came. I’ve had some major highs, and some terrible lows, but I honestly have no regrets. Why? Because every one of those moments has shaped me into who I am today. A little bit crazy, a lotta bit sentimental, and about to embark on an exciting move back to my hometown.
I think as you leave part of your journey and embark on the next destination, it’s important to make peace with where you’ve come from, take a moment to embrace all who you are, and reflect on the season you are in. Even the quiet seasons, the transition seasons, the uncertain seasons and the can’t wait to just get on and do it seasons shape us in to who we are. Take a leaf from the book of the man upstairs and remember he’s doing life with you. I know sometimes I just need to stop, rest and remember that. The moment that is important is truly the one that’s right now. Whatever that looks like, no matter how scary or sad or bittersweet or incredibly magnificent and beautiful – it’s a moment to be thankful for. And my goodness I’m thankful. What a JOURNEY. What a MOMENT. What a SEASON. To finish, let me introduce (or reacquaint) you with one of my favourite songs EVER (which is saying something). It’s a Scots poem, for old times sake, and one of the most beautiful reflective pieces that really encapsulate everything for me. Take some time to listen and enjoy. I’m not gonna lie, it often makes me cry. It’s about beginnings and ends, celebration and going forward. It’s life. In all its painful and amazing moments. Enjoy. And remember:
Over and out, Cooper x
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